potage d'alphabet
by Mellow Lellow
Summary: She liked to eat her alphabet soup in order like the OCD person Naruto was convinced she was. But she believed each letter stood for something. That each letter held a story. G was for Guppy. Alphabet series of one-shots. Main pairings of ItaSaku
1. A is for Approve

**potage d'alphabet**

**x**

**Enjoy, my lovelies**

**x**

**A- ****_Approve_**

When she was younger, he barely registered her existence. He knew minor details such as: she was his younger brother's teammate, she had unusual pink hair, and she was book-smart, but otherwise, useless as a shinobi. He gathered from his brother that she was an annoyance, a hindrance, and altogether _weak._ None of these qualities did he find approving for a kunoichi.

It wasn't until years later that he began hearing people singing a different tune on their assessments of the small pinkette. He was curious when he heard that she was apprenticing under Lady Tsunade. No weakling could possibly achieve such a feat. Was it the same girl? Or had he misheard when only negative connotations came with her name? Because now, all he heard were praises.

So he became curious.

He would remain a skeptic until he saw likewise for himself, but his interest certainly was piqued.

His chance to see for himself came in the form of assisting Team Seven train for their entrance into ANBU. He had heard she was an excellent medic, so he assumed she would guard her teammates' backs, only joining the fight if absolutely necessary. What he didn't expect was for her to be there one minute, and gone the next, only to have her reappearing right before him with a smirk, and decimating the ground beneath his feet.

As rubble fell all around him, approval welled up in his chest. This certainly wasn't the same little girl he had swept aside in his mind. He was going to make certain he never made that mistake again.

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A/N: As you may have noticed, I'm doing an alphabet series of one-shots. So there'll be 26 of these bad boys, various lengths, various story-lines blah blah blah you get the picture ;) So give me your thoughts and reviews!


	2. B is for Beguile

**potage d'alphabet**

**x**

**Enjoy my lovelies**

**x**

**B- ****_Beguile_**

I don't hate him, per se. I just really, really, _really _don't like him.

Ever since he crashed into my peaceful bubble of existence, he has made it his mission to make my life miserable. I swear it's true!

You see we met at a college party. He tried to hit on me. I shot him down.

_Apparently_, he's not used to being denied the things he wants. I just think he's a spoiled little brat.

But, ever since then, I've felt like I see him _everywhere._ No matter where I go, he's there. It's damn creepy if you ask me.

So not only is he a stalker, but he's rude, argumentative, and stubborn. Every time we converse, it always ends with a heated debate, fight, or with me nearly clawing his pretty little black eyes out.

I take back my earlier comment of not hating him. I totally do hate him.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy for hating this guy. But that's just because he has them all wrapped around his perfectly manicured pinky. But oh no, not me! I can see through his bullshit for what he truly is…. an evil demon lord. That would be a perfect explanation for his evilness.

Uhg! He irritates me so much and I can't get him out of my head! Every time I think about him, my blood boils and my vision, no joke, turns red.

I'm currently trying to do my homework in the nice and sunny quad of the college, sitting in my favorite spot with the most fantastic view of the college gardens. But my actually studying is not going very well because I keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for His Evilness to pop out of nowhere and start hassling me, (like he usually does). I probably look like some crazy paranoid conspiracy theorist! Oh my god. _This has got to stop._

I slammed my pencil onto the table in frustration. I was getting nowhere in my studies anyway.

"Well that's not a very nice way of treating your pencils, Sakura."

I stiffened and my eyebrow began to twitch.

"It's an inanimate object stupid Uchiha," I spat back, glaring up at the man now in front of me, blocking my view.

He hummed in thought.

"Can you move, you're blocking my view," I bit out, pouting that my beautiful spot (and day for that matter) were now tainted.

He raised his eyebrows at me.

I huffed. "Shoo. Shoo. Away with you," I replied with shooing motions.

He sat down.

Uhg, dammit!

"That's not what I meant!"

"You said move, so I moved to sit down at this lovely table."

"I don't want you here. Go away. I'm busy." I picked up my pencil and began studying once more in hopes that this would discourage him from _talking_ to me.

"…"

"…"

"You're not saying anything."

"I was under the impression that you did not wish me to talk, Sakura."

"Uhh, yeah actually, you're right."

"So are you dissatisfied with my silence?"

"No, but it's getting damn creepy. You never just '_leave me alone' _like this_._ What are you up to, Uchiha?"

He smirked.

"What do you think of me, Sakura?"

My mind went blank. "Uhm, is this like, a trick question or something."

"Nope."

"I don't think you want to know what I really think of you. Seriously."

"Of course I do."

"No. No you don't."

"Try me."

I took a deep breath.

"Well first off, you're a creepy stalker-"

"Sakura, our schedules just happen to coincide-"

"_Second,_ you _always_ contradict the things I have to say."

"I don't _always_ do that."

"Ahem, case in point. _Third, _you're a complete and utter asshole whenever you're around me."

"Have you ever thought that if you were nice to _me,_ that I might return the favor?"

"Psh, and why would I do _that?_ Have you never heard of being, oh I dunno, _a gentleman? _Anyway, last but not least-"

"Tch, there's more?"

"Oh yes, Itachi, this list could go on for hours. I'm giving the abridge version here. So, _like I was saying, _lastly, with all your sly tricks and suave moves, you've somehow wormed your way into my brain, and I can't seem to get you out, and it's driving me mad. "

His smirk was positively predatory.

"Well that was the idea, _Sa-ku-ra._"

"I frowned. "Your plan was to make me go crazy?"

"No, my plan was to make sure that no matter where you are, no matter what your doing and no matter who you're with, I will always be the forefront in your mind."

"And what exactly is the point of doing that?"

"The point, dear Sakura, is that now I can make you _mine_."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Have you _not_ been listening to a word I've said? I just told you that I _hate _you. How does that equate to dating?"

"Sakura, Have you never heard the phrase, 'It's a fine line between love and hate'?"

He gave a devilish smirk, and pulled me into a heated (way too hot) kiss.

Damn, he may be right. Somehow the evil demon lord had caught me in his clutches and I'm afraid I may never escape…

…maybe I might not exactly want to.

(He is a pretty good kisser after all.)

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A/N: This ending is kinda lame (to me at least) because I didn't know how to end it, so I just threw one out. Hope it made some sense, lol.

Anywho, I know this is a quick update, right?! Well, I have like the first four or five letters already done, so yeah...I'm just kinda impatient. Lol!

Give me your thoughts and reviews! Thank You! You guys are lovely!


	3. C is for Clasp

**potage d'alphabet**

**x**

**Enjoy my lovelies**

**x**

**C-****_ Clasp_**

It was fast approaching their six-month anniversary. He wasn't one to celebrate such trivial and whimsical things like a 'monthaversary'. He found it to be ridiculous and completely unnecessary. But because of her, he was beginning to wonder if maybe he should start.

He had been walking down the street, when he saw it. It was perfect, and it was perfect because he knew that it would be perfect for _her. _

So on the day, the dreaded day, that marked that their relationship had survived half a year, he celebrated. For her.

For her, he found he did things that he would never do for any other person in the world.

For her, he would do absolutely anything.

And on that day, he surprised her with the delicate pendant necklace that had garnered his complete attention while walking past because he _knew_ she would love it.

Just like he had known that the necklace was so completely perfect for her, he had begun to realize the same rang true with him. She was absolutely perfect for him in every way imaginable.

So as he swept her long pink locks to the side, he clasped the small necklace around her neck, and tenderly whispered; "_I love you."_

Because _for him_, she was everything.

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A/N: Mmm, fluff. This is actually the first story I did for this anthology, like, a million years ago. Ha! (No joke, over a year this has been sitting and waiting for posting!)

But anyhoo...I know I'm doing a TON of updates (Yeah, I promise I'm working on **Fated**, never fear) So I hope no one minds! ^.^

Now, I would _LOVE_ your thoughts and reviews! I like to get the feedback!


	4. D is for Delinquent

**potage d'alphabet**

**x**

**Enjoy, my lovelies**

**x**

**~Mellow~**

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**D- ****_Delinquent_**

"Detective Uchiha, there's a feisty one in interrogation room 3."

The Uchiha glanced up from his work, "Thank you Officer, I'll go take care of it right away. Can I have their file?"

"Here ya' go, and… good luck," the officer chuckled, handing over the document.

Uchiha Itachi quirked an eyebrow at the officer's odd behavior.

Shrugging it off, he made his way towards interrogation room 3.

He opened the door and stepped inside.

What he found there wasn't at all what he had been expecting.

The rap sheet he held certainly didn't seem to fit the image before him. It certainly didn't seem to fit someone with…_pink hair_, of all things.

He glanced down at the name on file before clearing his throat and pulling up a chair in front of the smug-looking pinkette.

"Miss Haruno..." Itachi began.

"That _is_ my name," she said, giving a coy smile.

"I'm Detective Uchiha, and I'll be taking over your case. Would you like to call in your lawyer?" He asked, rifling through her file.

"Are you aware of the charges you have been faced with?"

She arched a delicate pink eyebrow.

"Well, _obviously_." She replied sassily.

Itachi cleared his throat, "then you do realize that you could go to jail if charges are pressed?"

"Tch. I highly doubt that'll happen," she scoffed.

"And why is that? You're being held for assault, drunk and disorderly conduct, destruction of property, namely a very expensive car, and trespassing." He replied, undeterred by her attitude.

"I would like to interject that I was _not_ drunk. Just…a bit deranged at the time."

He continued without acknowledging her interruption, "regardless, those are no small crimes. You're sure to be facing jail time for this. Assault could give you a year, only about three months for trespassing, and if the destruction is deemed a felony, well, then you're looking at up to 10 years for that too. So _now_ would you like to call your lawyer?" He finished, feeling a bit smug with himself.

"Like I said before, Detective, I really don't think charges are going to be pressed here." She said leaning back in her chair and shooting a coy smile his way.

"What gives you that impression, Miss Haruno?"

She stared at him for a long moment before replying, "maybe you should ask your younger brother about cheating on his now _ex-_girlfriend at said girlfriend's birthday party with one of said girlfriend's _ex_-best friends and see what happens to said girlfriend when she _finds out about it._"

Itachi sat dumbfounded, processing all that she was implying.

"So, really, I don't think we're going to have any more issues here, now do you?" She asked with saccharine smile.

He frowned and nodded mutely, still a bit speechless. _Sasuke acted in such a way? How completely shameful for the family if word of this got out._

Finally finding his words, he spoke softly saying, "Thank you for your time Miss Haruno. I'll make sure they process your release papers and get you out of here within the hour."

"Thank you very much Detective Uchiha." She nodded her thanks.

He started his way towards the door, but turned around one last time, saying, "Oh, and Miss Haruno? Don't worry about Sasuke, I'll make certain of it that he is punished appropriately."

And with that, he swept out of the interrogation room, leaving behind a smirking and victorious pinkette.

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A/N: Whoo! I am alive! I had this started over two months ago, but didn't know where I wanted to go with it. So hope you guys enjoy. As always, your feedback is much appreciated!

ALSO, if you have any words you'd like to see turned into stories for the remaining alphabet letters, please let me know (I'll make sure to mention you in the chapter, too)! I'm up for the challenge!


	5. E is for Epitaph

**potage d'alphabet**

**x**

**Enjoy, my lovelies**

**x**

**~Mellow~**

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**E-****_ Epitaph_**

Both of his grandparents were gone. Apparently they had died together, fighting for the sake of the Village they loved.

His mother liked to tell him their story a lot when he was younger, and every year they would go visit their joined tombstones. It always seemed to rain whenever they went in the early mornings, and it seemed fitting. Though without fail, the rain would clear and the sun would shine; leading way to a brilliant rainbow to cross the sky. He liked to think there was some kind of meaning behind that.

His mother told him, that she had never seen two people more in love than his grandparents. They were both fierce and renowned shinobi of Konoha. The sword and shield of their village. But when war struck; together, they were the first on the battlefield, and when the enemy proved too much, together, they fell.

His mother always said how romantic their story was. But he always felt like it was tragic. Tragic that two people so in love and full of life had to die so early.

He glanced down at their tombstone, taking in every detail. What were they like? What were their hobbies? Their dislikes? What did their friends think of them? What could a tombstone tell him of their character? Nothing. But he sat and stared regardless.

Eventually though, his mother would call him away so they could head home. But he gave one last prayer to his grandparents' grave. Bidding them farewell till next year.

_Here lies Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sakura_

_Companions and Fighters everlasting._

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_A/N: Quick turnaround, ne? Happy? I hope so. _

_Anyway, hope you don't mind a serious one thrown in there. The next one is already written and is pure unadulterated crack. _

_ANY IDEAS on words for me? Any words starting with letters from G onward (except for __**I**__, randomly did that one already)_

_As usual, your reviews and feedback make me extremely happy...so please? _

_Much Love_


	6. F is for Fetishist

**potage d'alphabet**

**x**

**Enjoy My Lovelies**

**F- ****_Fetishist_**

They were together for over a year before she found out about his…._ peculiarity,_ as she liked to put it.

"Sakura… I have a thing for… pinky fingers."

"…_What?"_

"It's just something that I find cute and adorable, and sometimes turns me on."

"Are you telling me you have a …a …_fetish, _Itachi?"

He let out a sigh. "Sakura, it's just a small fetish."

"Just a small fetish? _Just a small fetish?!_ Who the hell gets turned on by someone's pinky fingers?!"

"Well…not just _anyone's_ pinky. More just like… _your_ pinky finger."

"…"

"You have adorable hands. Didn't you know that, Sakura?"

"…"

"Oh by the way, I need to pick up some things at the store, do you need anything while I'm gone?"

"…"

"No? Alright, then I'll be back soon."

"…"

The door closed and she fell to the floor, passed out.

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A/N: Pure. And. Utter. Crack. Yes? Yes.

I was going to do a different word, but then my mom told me I should write about 'Fetishist' o.O Should I be worried about her? Maybe.

Anyhoo, a fetish for pinky fingers! Yeah, I wanted to pick something that was still relatively 'normal' for a fetish. I got the idea from an ex-boyfriend of mine who was oddly attached to my pinky fingers...*cough*

As always, your **comments** and **feedback** fuel my soul and would be much appreciated!

Much Love


	7. G is for Guppy

**potage d'alphabet**

**x**

**Enjoy, my lovelies**

**x**

**G- ****_Guppy_**

That afternoon she came crashing through my door, sobbing uncontrollably.

I had never seen her so completely distraught before, and I actually found myself at a loss for words.

"Sa…Sakura? What's wrong?"

She sobbed. "'Tachi! He..he…" Sniffle. "Oh god, it's horrible!" Sob.

"Sakura. Calm down. You need to tell me what happened." Panic was starting to stir in my mind.

She gave another heaving sob. "Fi- fishafers _died_ 'Tachi!" And then she cupped her head in her hands and continued bawling.

Relief washed through me at this, much-less-earth-shattering piece of news. It would be crass of me to say this to her face, but the way she was going on, you would have thought the world was ending or something.

"Ah. I'm very sorry to hear that, Sakura. I know how much you...loved…your fish." I grimaced at my awkward delivery. What does one say to someone whose lost a pet _fish?_ Are fish even that great of a pet in the first place?

She sniffled. "Thank you Itachi. I'm so sorry for barging in here like that, but I walked into my room and…and just found him dead." She said, tears still leaking from her eyes. "I don't even know what to do!"

"Would you like me to take care of… Fishafers for you?" I asked, handing her a kleenex.

How do you dispose of a dead fish? Flush it down the toilet? I believe that's what I've heard most people do.

"Y-yes please." She sniffled, dabbing her nose dry.

I made my way out the front door and across the street to Sakura's house, with said girl trailing behind closely.

Before I was able to walk into her room, she tugged lightly on my sleeve.

I turned around to face her, tilting my head in curiosity.

"Uhm…can we… can we bury him, please?"

I gave her a deadpan stare. "You want to hold a funeral for your fish?"

She nodded earnestly, eyes shining with tears.

Sighing and running a hand through my hair I replied, " Alright, then can you get me a glass and a gardening shovel?"

She gave another quick nod and dashed away.

I gave another deep sigh and sat on Sakura's bed, glancing at the small tank on her desk that now contained a dead Fishafer.

In no time Sakura was back, carrying the items I had requested.

Using her aquarium strainer, I scooped the small guppy into the glass. Sakura sobbed quietly behind me as I made my way out to the back yard.

I stopped under the largest tree and kneeled down, setting the glass aside; I started digging a small hole.

Once finished, I solemnly deposited the small fish within and covered it slowly with the displaced dirt. Sakura was crying silent tears as she watched my progress.

"Could you…say a few words?"  
"You want me to give a eulogy for your fish?" I blinked, baffled.

She nodded earnestly with the saddest puppy eyes.

I stood up, looking down at the small grave, I started; "Er…Fishafer was a well loved fish He was the best a fish could be and lived a good, full life. He will be sorely missed. Rest in peace, Fishafer." I finished awkwardly, throwing a sideways glance at Sakura to mark her approval.

She had her eyes closed, whispering quietly under her breath. After a moment of silence, she let out a deep shuddering breath and turned her shining gaze on me.

"Thank you so much, Itachi. I know it may seem stupid, but this really meant a lot to me." She said, smiling weakly.

"You're very welcome, Sakura. I'm sorry to see Fishafer go." I replied with a small smile.

"It's alright. Actually, that was Fishafer 3.0. But even still, it's sad when they die."

I raised incredulous eyebrow at her. "Is that so?"

"Mmhm! So… would you like to come with me to the pet store to look for Fishafer 4.0?" She asked bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet.

I chuckled lightly. "Sure, why not."

She smiled radiantly, and skipped back toward the house.

Smiling, I followed slowly after her.

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A/N: Sorry for the long wait everyone! But letter **G** gave me problems like nobodies business! I was going to use _**Gentleman**_for it, but after rewriting it THREE times, I gave up and changed it to Guppy.

Second! This is pretty much a TRUE STORY. Yes, I had a friend with a fish named Fishafer that died. She had me bury it outside and give a eulogy. We even had a funeral procession with a few friends. *cough* True life is often times weirder than fiction. Haha!

REVIEWS and COMMENTS are, as usual, always welcomed and loved!  
Much love,

Mellow


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